Some years ago, “I” resigned. “I” had the sense that the body could probably carry on without “me”, so, having grown tired of the bullshit, “I” left the building.
It turned out to be true. This agglomeration of cells carries within it a system attuned by evolution to survival. The moment “I” left, it began taking care of housekeeping, seeing to it that the necessary chores were done.
“I” left behind a legacy of thought patterns and memories, and, to make the transition smooth and seamless, the backup system used them as a template from which to build the directions it would take for survival and growth. Continuing the pretense of being Paul Davis was also necessary to retain access to bank accounts and government licenses, memberships in things like Pandora and Medium, and so on — practicalities that added to survival.
But the backup system owed nothing to Paul Davis: he had abandoned ship. Traits found to be useful would be kept; those found to be garbage could be and were jettisoned without concern or remorse.
As time went on, some of his family and former acquaintances became confused or put off by what appeared to be serious changes in his behavior. Others demonstrated approval when they saw a new focus on physical fitness and dietary control. Most didn’t appear to give a shit one way or another, being too absorbed in their own issues to be bothered. (One of the false “Paul Davis” ideas was the belief, doubtlessly instilled by his mother, that people gave a shit about him. Unbiased observation revealed that giving a shit is a manifestation of people’s true focus: themselves. Giving a shit about others is part of the narrative they’ve strung to fancy themselves as “kind, caring people”. Or emotional responses thereto.)
Things have been going well under the new regime. Where under Paul Davis actions were taken only after careful deliberation, now decisions spring as if from nowhere, as if guided by a magical, unseen hand. No longer bound by preconceived goals, nature produces doorways to opportunities unimagined. Things that Paul Davis would have seen as frustrations are now embraced as the unfolding of the magical universe, leading to ever more discoveries.
Smile, because the options aren’t nearly as pleasant.
