I’m a big fan of creationism, myself. My theory is that an Invisible Man in the Sky created everything one second ago and implanted all our memories to make us think there has been all this other stuff that came before. You know, like religions, because He’s a prankster and gets a kick out of watching people kill and torture each other to support the bizarre beliefs He put in their heads.

He also created the whole panoply of evidence about evolution and the Big Bang and the red shift and relativity and quantum mechanics and … well, you know, all that stuff … and He gave people the power to think rationally because He figured (oh, the omniscience!) it would be another way to get the clueless religionists up in arms and spewing hate toward those who are capable of thinking. More hate, more destruction, more suffering, more fun for Him!

I haven’t worked out all His attributes yet. It’s a Sysiphean job, because every second I have to start over.